Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A bit about Bicycle.

This bio is going to be a little heavy on recent events, as we only met 2.5 years ago.

Bicycle has the distinction of being part of a set of quadruplets, two boys and two girls. He is now 23, a bit over a year younger than me. His father does something mildly exciting and important, I'm not exactly sure what, and his mother currently works in the administration of a state college. His brother does to the same college he does, one sister works, having not finished college, and the other is working on an internship down south as part of her educational requirements. The family also has two dogs, and, currently, three cats. Can you imagine that mad house?

He grew up in central Massachusetts, a little bit far from that many interesting things, but not too out in the woods. He and his siblings went to a charter school for junior high and high school. A year and a half ago his parents moved to the eastern part of the state, close to Boston. Bicycle himself really makes his home out here where he goes to school; unlike his other siblings, he hasn't spent much time at the family's new house. During the summers he's stayed out here, taking classes or working.

This coming fall will be his last semester of college, at the state university. It's taking an extra one, but you can't really get on his case about it, as he is double majoring in two sciences and doing honors work. He also works at the cooperative, student run bike shop on campus. He lived with the same roommate all through college, who was a friend from high school. The first two years they lived on campus. After their sophomore year, they shared a house with some other folks for the summer. At the end of that summer, they moved to the middle of town and shared a big old house with some friends for the next couple of years. Drama, dirtiness, the high cost of heating, and a general sense that it was time to move on compelled them to leave. This summer they sublet an apartment from a friend, near where Bicycle and I are going to be living soon. The roommate will be leaving tomorrow. He's moving to Arizona with his girlfriend (they're in wuv), who is starting grad school there, and he's got a job at the school.

Bicycle, like me, has a strong personality. He's pint-sized -- an inch or two shorter than me and about thirty pounds lighter. Partially as a result of his smallness, he has a relationship to physical space that could be considered gendered feminine; unlike many men, he does not sprawl or claim a large area of personal space. Duly, it helps him to be sympathetic to women, and is part of why he is a good feminist ally. It is always easier to see things if they are reflected in your own lived experience. There are more gender incongruities between us. I am much more sexually/romantically experienced and was the pursuer at the beginning of our relationship. I am, as mentioned, more than a year older, finished undergrad 2.5 years before he will, and will have completed a masters degree before he starts grad school. We are equally good as cooks. I tend to have more money than he does.

On the other hand, some things fall into the common gender narrative. He's a scientist and I will shortly be a librarian (though I am knowledgeable and capable in the sciences and he is the same in the humanities). I am neater and more organized than he is. He plays guitar and sings songs, sometimes in public. I would never play an instrument by myself in public. He's a bike mechanic, and while I can do the same with rowing shells, there is little call for my skill in day-to-day life and I will probably never be employed doing it, whereas Bicycle works in a bike shop on campus. I currently work mostly at home. I really worry that my identity as an independent, intelligent person will get eaten up by his, because he's a smart, scientist, doing all kinds of important shit, and I'm a librarian and can tell you where to find books. It's a visceral fear for me, and I don't think Bicycle has much of a clue yet. It tempts me to go on to more grad school and do some research and write some important papers or something after I finish this degree.

No comments: